“We strive to become what we naturally already are; becoming is just the moment of realization.” -Mara Hruby
Wow its funny how NYC life can consume you. I have only been here for seven months, yet it feels way longer.
There is no middle ground with this city, either you love it or you hate. No two days are the same.
I can't recall the moment of clarity the last seven months, but my friends in Ohio seem to all noticed the growth. Ok ok, I will give this city acknowledgment and note that I have developed a strong sense of self here. I am more confident in my own abilities and strength more than ever before.I no longer feel uncomfortable in my eclectic vintage printed pants and T-Shirt. I feel like this city has awaken a sense of pride.I am proud to be where I am , coming from where I am from. I am a Midwestern girl with island memories living in the city that never sleeps.
In a city full of immigrants and history, I find myself proud to be an African-American. Even though my family was not brought here by choice but rather by force, no one can deny that this country is my land. I found may lack of origin disheartening the first few months here, but I now smile with pride . I may not be able to trace my line back to Africa, but I am proud to be among the African-Americans who successfully turned lemons into lemonade.
Back to the topic at hand:
You can't be unsure in New York City. Walking aimlessly can result in people taking advantage of your journey. You must be confident and at times even aggressive.
This is a strange feeling...
While I love this city, I know I can't stay here forever. This Midwestern girl must take this new-found knowledge and better her own community. No matter how much I love the NYC community, I know that it is not my own. I will forever be a product if my true environment... Ohio.
Sometimes I feel guilty for leaving the Queen City for Queens, New York. For years I told myself that I would fix my community (Cincinnati) then move forward. But what did I do? At the first chance I got, I move 500 plus miles away. I feel selfish in my efforts.
In February, I randomly went home. Visiting the Queen City made me truly miss the energy of the it. I got the opportunity to witness the growth, the strives, the efforts.
Sometimes I feel like I could have created my own, but instead hopped in the train called learning.
I know I will one day make my way back to my hometown. I will take my new found strength and innovation to rebuild the city. The only question is when ...
So many opportunities in both cities.It doesn't help that I have a love/hate relationship in both locations.
I have so much more to learn, I'm not sure if my voyage up north is complete. I am in a constant state of transition. This transition is both exciting and nerve wrecking. I must learn balance. I think patience will be my greatest lesson in this city. I am always so ready to create my space. I think I need to allow myself to gain knowledge first.
Speaking of knowledge, I will be attending Parsons New School of Design in the fall. I have gained acceptance into the new Masters of Arts program, Theories of Urban Practices. This unique program is a research based program for urban planning . I will be taking a look at how urban spaces are transformed from an art perspective.
I am very honored and excited about transitioning into this program. It's funny I was just thinking of transitions before I received my acceptance packet for Parsons.
I have come to the conclusion that transitions are beautiful. The uncertainty is scary yet exciting. It's the moment when the past and the future collide. Transitions allow you to take a critical look at your past and find ways to merge into a the future. It's the reflection period.
I feel like my past and future jut made a collision the night I gained acceptance into Parsons. Everything I have experienced in and outside of the classroom merge together and formed that moment. I can't wait for the future, but this transition feels right...