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Seven Month Transitions

“We strive to become what we naturally already are; becoming is just the moment of realization.” -Mara Hruby

Wow its funny how NYC life can consume you. I have only been here for seven months, yet it feels way longer.

Observation: 

There is no middle ground with this city, either you love it or you hate. No two days are the same.

Random Observation:

I can't recall the moment of clarity the  last seven  months, but my friends in Ohio seem to all noticed the growth. Ok ok, I will give this city acknowledgment and note that I have developed a strong sense of self here. I am more confident in my own abilities and strength more than ever before.I no longer feel uncomfortable in my eclectic vintage printed pants and T-Shirt. I feel like this city has awaken a sense of pride.I am proud to be where I am , coming from where I am from. I am a Midwestern girl with island memories living in the city that never sleeps.

Rant:

In a city full of immigrants and history, I find myself proud to be an African-American. Even though my family was not brought here by choice but rather by force, no one can deny that this country is my land. I found may lack of origin disheartening the first few months here, but I now smile with pride . I may not be able to trace my line back to Africa, but I am proud to be among the African-Americans who successfully turned lemons into lemonade.

Back to the topic at hand:

You can't be unsure in New York City. Walking aimlessly can  result in people taking advantage of your journey. You must be confident and at times even aggressive.

This is a strange feeling...

While I love this city, I know I can't stay here forever. This Midwestern girl must take this new-found knowledge and better her own community. No matter how much I love the NYC community, I know that it is not my own. I will forever be a product if my true environment... Ohio.

Side Note:

Sometimes I feel guilty for leaving the Queen City for Queens, New York. For years I told myself that I would fix my community (Cincinnati) then move forward. But what did I do? At the first chance I got, I move 500 plus miles away. I feel selfish in my efforts.

In February, I randomly went home. Visiting the Queen City made me truly miss the energy of the it. I got the opportunity to witness the growth, the strives, the efforts.

Sometimes I feel like I could have created my own, but instead hopped in the train called learning.

I know I will one day make my way back to my hometown. I will take my new found strength and innovation to rebuild the city. The only question is when ...

So many opportunities in both cities.It doesn't help that I have a love/hate relationship in both locations.

I have so much more to learn, I'm not sure if my voyage up north is complete. I am in a constant state of transition. This transition is both exciting and nerve wrecking. I must learn balance. I think patience will be my greatest lesson in this city. I am always so ready to create my space. I think I need to allow myself to gain knowledge first.

Speaking of knowledge, I will be attending Parsons New School of Design in the fall. I have gained acceptance into the new Masters of Arts program, Theories of Urban Practices. This unique program is a research based program for urban planning . I will be taking a look at how urban spaces are transformed from an art perspective.

I am very honored and excited about transitioning into this program. It's funny I was just thinking of transitions before I received my acceptance packet for Parsons.

I have come to the conclusion that transitions are beautiful. The uncertainty is scary yet exciting. It's the moment when the past and the future collide. Transitions allow you to take a critical look at your past and find ways to merge into a the future. It's the reflection period.

I feel like my past and future jut made a collision the night I gained acceptance into Parsons. Everything I have experienced in and outside of the classroom merge together and formed that moment. I can't wait for the future, but this transition feels right...